Fear is something that dogs and humans have in common.
A scared dog lowers its head and slowly walks by you, all the while keeping a fearful eye on you. Once it passes you it sprints away without a look back.
Have you ever had a staring contest with a dog? Then you probably know what I’m talking about. It ends well if you win but you don’t want to experience what happens if you don’t.
But you can’t do the same with cats. Even if you do stare at them as long as you can, they just don’t give you a flying meowing fuck. I admire people like that. They are independent and they do what they want. This is only trait that George Bush Jr. has that I like. He was a cat.
The only way you get a cats attention is if you run after it with a stick. That’s not to say that cats don’t feel fear. It’s just that they are a little sociopathic and tend to keep to themselves.
Let’s talk about names.
Fluffy is the best name any cat can have. And I think all cats should be named Fluffy. Yes, even the unfluffy ones.
And Max is the best name for a dog. All dogs should be named Max too.
But is it possible that the cats and dogs have their own names for each other in their primitive languages.
Dog alphabet: bark, grrr, hmmhmm
Cat alphabet: meow, hiss
It is said that a dog is man’s best friend. When the hell did this happen? Was there a meeting I forgot to attend? I can assure you that I do not even have a casual acquaintance with a dog, thus making it impossible for me to have a dog as a best friend. No offence to any dogs reading this.
Dogs are loyal. They don’t care who you are, how you treat other people. As long as you are kind to them they will be your loyal friend. They don’t care whether you are a school teacher, a talk show host or a serial killer.
But cats, they are the type of people who will drink the water from the bowl even if they see you are on fire.
Also I am not really sure that cats and dogs really do hate each other. Of course I’ve seen a few fights but I would not really consider it a rivalry. Maybe a contest. Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I was born during The Peacetime.
If you are a cat or a dog and wish to contact me, you can find me at